On Wednesday, in my Cross Cultural Coaching class we discussed the idea of culture. Yesterday we discussed Truth and Fraud.

Both Beate and I seemed to have done a lot of reflecting on the subject of culture and cultural differences. She, a german woman living in Singapore, and I have both experienced being submersed in a different geographic culture.

The more we progressed with the discussion, however, the more we noticed that there is so much diversity in each cultural group we tried to grasp: nations, states, gender, etc. It boiled down to each person is her own culture.

What opportunities does dealing with and being open to diversity present?
We have the opportunity of discovering new possibilities of living according to our own culture, true to ourselves – living our own truth.

In these many groups that are elements of our lives, our identities, and our cultures, to which we belong outside of our one-person-culture are many ingrained ideas, norms, guidelines by which we judge ourselves and others, and which influence our behavior. These groups may be our family, our friends, our Saturday afternoon sport group, our work colleagues, or more broadly our age group, our gender, our nation.

It is necessary to be aware of these influences to understand and to deal with them. When we understand where our ideas and values come from, we can then decide if they are constructive to us in living according to our own culture, our own truth.

Be true to yourself–become aware, seek to understand, only then is it possible to define and move toward our own truth.

How has this society become so addicted to instant fixes? 

Is it because we as a nation have been so successful at innovation, being able to solve problems by analyzing them, pooling our resources, brainstorming, and working under deadline pressure?  It seems to me that we are proud of this history; I know that I often react and think the same way in my life.  It stems from a sense of confidence, I tell myself.  Why worry today about things that may occur in the future, when it happens, we can deal with it. 

The analysis that is done can be based on personal experience, or can be based on the scientific method.  A hypothesis is formulated and then tested.  It is imperative that one identify the contributing factors and test the effect that each factor has on the situation.  (This is obviously a gross simplification of the scientific method, but I think you will agree with the gist.) 

The study I heard about this morning involved asthmatic children and the behaviors of their families that contribute to a lower risk of ending up in the ER.  The factor identified as playing a key role => dinner.  It all made wonderful sense to me. 
If a family engages in regular dinnertime activity, with assigned roles, such as setting the table, and the meal has a defined beginning and end, and if the family members authentically care about what transpired in each other’s day, then the asthmatic child was, so to speak, healthier. 

I like that word, authentic.
What kind of families engage in regular dinners?  What kind of families show that they authentically care about one another?  Are they the same as those, who do not?  What factors contribute to exhibiting this behavior?  Are these families just more functional to begin with? 
Will other families be able to produce the same result without being as functional, just by implementing a dinnertime tradition?
What does that mean to be a functional family? 

Ok.  I’ll stop, but do you understand my point?  Does it help us to believe that we can identify a single factor or behavior that “causes” a desired state, and by scheduling in that factor in our calendar, we can achieve the desired results? 
Another example are the healthful benefits of Resveratrol from red wine.  This substance has been found to extend life, prevent cancer, enhance athletic performance, act as an antiviral substance, etc.  Wow!  This is perhaps the reason that the French, who drink red wine regularly, have a lower incidence of heart disease. 

It was determined, however, that to produce the analog results in humans (yes, the studies were done on mice), it would be necessary to drink 50 bottle of wine to get the equivalent amount of Resveratrol.  Not to worry, a pill was introduced.  But alas, the findings were not positive.  What went wrong? 

Could it be that we are focusing on the wrong framework?  Do the contributing factors, which are identifiable, really have the same effect alone, as they do in combination?  Aren’t we continually also finding that, either, we just have not been able to measure or identify ALL contributing factors, or we see how elements only in combination have the desired effect?  By dividing out the single factors, we have not conquered the problem, but have squelched the synergy. 

Perhaps Resveratrol does have these wonderful effects, but very likely the lifestyle and attitude of living in and celebrating the moment goes even further.  Who is able to sit down with friends/family, eat dinner, converse, sip a glass of wine, and just be in the moment?  Doesn’t this require, at least for that timeframe, the ability to put other things aside? Often this is a forum, in which to mull over problems, seek advise, or just the act of verbalizing thoughts helps one to better see the solution.  Doesn’t it help, just knowing someone authentically cares enough to listen?  Doesn’t hearing about other’s issues and trying to help them, put your own matters into perspective? Isn’t it a wonderful feeling caring about and loving others?
Is only the Resveratrol at work? 

Does feeling light and heat on our skin have the same effect as being outside, feeling the warm sun, the breeze on your skin, hearing the activity (or lack thereof), seeing the smiles on other faces?  Does taking a pill have the same effect as savoring a glass of red wine with most of our senses – visual, olfactory, and taste?  Does it satisfy in the same way?  Or does it leave a gap? 

We strive toward more health and happiness. Are we not willing to receive it? Why then are we afraid to face the challenge of living a life filled with Authenticity and Enjoyment?

It may be necessary to first become aware of how you really are living. Understand what kind of behavior patterns you fall into. You must make the commitment to want to live a better life and take action. Is it worth it to you? This change will require only that you be honest with yourself, be authentic, and enjoy.

Changing patterns of behavior is not easy, but it is possible. To make a long-lasting change, one must make a long-lasting commitment. You deserve it.  Find support. Get started now with small things.

Let’s try to focus on the small things that make life wonderful. Be grateful that we have these things and can enjoy them. Focus on the positive things we have. Know we have the ability to master our life. Authentically appreciate the love and support we have from our friends and family. And be much healthier and satisfied in the process.